first off, my neighbors' bathroom is just above mine. I know this because occasionally I hear them puking, or trying to bathe one of their dogs (protip: cut their toenails while they're in there so I don't have to hear CLACK CLACK CLACK every other minute). but that also means they can hear me, and I think they've decided to mess with me every time I take a shower (perhaps a betting pool on which swear words I'll use when they do it?). their hot water is like a hot water vacuum that sucks all the warmth out of my shower, usually just as I've done something like getting shampoo in my eye for extra conflict.
I go from this:
to this:
after I got out of that shower the other night, I saw a cute little spider crawling up my wall:
and then I realized it was a daddy longlegs, which I am deathly afraid of, which makes so much sense...
and then the next morning, after sleep had cleansed me of the previous night's horrors, I was walking to my car to go to work:
when...
whyyyyyyy??? the thing had just emerged from the thawing snow and was chilling there like 'yo wut up im a bloody squirrel with rigor mortis lol'. I flipped out. I am still not sure how I made it to work without puking, or how I've remained psychologically intact enough to write this today.
that is all.
1 comment:
Fuck, that is hilarious. Also, your squirrel woes remind me of the mummified squirrel carcass that emerged from the frozen wastes at Wellesley one year, except I found it perplexing rather than terrifying.
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